To Begin With Me

After reading David Archuleta's thank you letter to his Father in Heaven, the people who worked with him on his "Begin." album, and especially the fans, my mind is filled with so many thoughts and emotions.
Instead of the letter I'll give the link to Archuleta Fanscene where they shared it. http://archuletafanscene.com/2012/08/04/david-archuletas-begin-thank-yous/
Even though "Begin." is the name of David's album and I've began this post talking about him, this is actually not about him, but about me, and where I need my life to change directions and begin a new course.

Skinnier me in 1990

I know my health is not the greatest right now but I don't have the money or insurance to go to the doctor at this time. I know that if I lose weight my health will improve. My daughter Amanda is attending school right now to be a personal trainer. She said she wants to train me and help me to lose weight. I know I need to but I hope she'll be careful and not push too hard because of my sciatic pain. Over doing it can trigger the pain. I know though that if I lose weight this will help take pressure off my legs and back and that will help.
Just like anyone else I have weaknesses with things, and things I'm easily prone to fall into temptation with and the adversary knows this. I've been reading the Book of Mormon and most recently the Doctrine & Covenants where God clearly states that if we don't do what He says, we have no promise but He is bound when we do what He asks of us. Do what He says, the blessings will flow and don't and He won't be with me. I have to keep my mind straight on the path that leads to eternal life. I love how David talks about how God illuminates the way when the paths are hard so we can get through them. Isn't that true with any of us?

I know one thing I struggle with is feeling secure about my voice and being able to sing well. I have said before to others I think I can sing ok, but I lack in skills to read notes and have to rely on my ear to change up notes and what key it's in to suit my contra alto voice. Though, I have no idea what key I'm changing things in because I don't read notes. I'm a member of the Chauntenettes LDS Women's Choir and when our choir director Margaret tells us to sing a certain note or to "step" down or all these other things in music, I have no clue what she's talking about. I have to hear it on the piano or from the person singing next to me. In D&C 60 God tells us to not be idle with our time and waste our talents. I felt like that was for me because I have felt strong about singing and that I should sing but I haven't developed my talent to it's full potential.  I guess I can try to read notes but It's all so foreign to me. But, I will try, and I will sing more.

Chauntenettes LDS Women's choir

I need to begin to attend the temple more. I feel so blessed to live so close to the Mt. Timpanogos Temple and even though I go a couple times a month, there's no reason why I shouldn't go more, especially since right now I don't have a job and really won't start working again until school is in session. I feel so close to Heavenly Father and my Savior when I'm in the temple and feel inner peace I'm looking for away from the world. I also have tons of temple cards to go through online before I can get their work done. I can't keep putting my ancestors in a holding pattern waiting for their work to be done. They were names submitted by my sis-in-law Kathleen in 2006 (when I wasn't active in the church at the time), but since LDS family search changed their website to www.new.familysearch.org, names not reserved by anyone but previously submitted were put as "ready" for anyone to do the temple work. Because of that we have found that about 2/3 of the names that were submitted are already done. Unfortunately some of the names that are completed are our direct ancestors which both my brother Allen and I really wanted to do foremost before the extended family names. Once Kathleen and I are finished going through all the cards, we'll probably have some of my nieces and nephews do the baptisms and confirmations then we'll do the other work. No more procrastinating.

Mt. Timpanogos Temple, American Fork, Utah

I also need to substitute teach more and figure out other ways to make money for my family. I can't depend on Joe's ability to pay me alimony and child support or to live on that money alone. Right now he doesn't have a job, so not sure what is going to happen with his ability to pay me if that doesn't change. I need to rely on myself to make money, and budget money better too.
Begin to make things happen in my life. Don't be idle. Develope my talents. Take better care of me. Begin to live better. Begin to have confidence in myself. Just Begin.